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void​.​echo​.​decay

by in one place

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1.
2.
Swept away a whirlwind of isolation Praying for hope there's only fear and hate Distrust Can't be bothered Can't keep looking can't look away Recreational tragedy Carves disjointed art into wrists Piles of rats crawling over the abused Dragged screaming from whatever hole Still digging The wrong way but at least it's somewhere Somewhere else No escape from this Guilt Despair High on pity Apathy sounds nice this time of year How deep is it ? There is no limit Draining out Shorting out Can't tell anymore Just clinging on Some day all of this will disappear We all burn out anyway
3.
Hidden in sight in light accepting the loss comes in tilted spinning around the sun clock ticks down how many mistakes litter the experience polluted with imperfections just absorb and accept won't always be here this temporary moment fleeting passes by in time rejoin the empty expanse the Mass the infinite unknown drift off its just like sleep transitory searching habitually gets lost it's just out of reach obsessive and nerve wrecking Peeling back the layers We're always lying Whatever it takes Just go away Away and gone Out of harms way Out of life's way Safe and sterile Only one way to go Further down the hole Recluse or abuse Picking poison Doesn't matter Everything's contaminated No tolerance Decaying on the inside Haven't seen the outside Everything used to matter so much through every motion Make this true Breathe life into this empty mannequin deranged puppets suffocating Dancing on strings To the tune of decay Does it always have to end this way?
4.
Getting smaller and smaller Eventually something gives way How many times spent Counting minutes Waiting for something to change Avoidant and silent Treat misdeeds like playthings Nihilism Trauma Guilt grief Trying to forget It doesn't go away In the end everything is pain Prayers to whatever will listen Those signals Returned to sender Laced with infestation Malignant threatening Devastating Wrecked Is it beyond repair? Soon everything will be clean Looking towards the light Shedding the skin Start anew Everything's dead Shaking cold Lost and uncertain It was only a dream A fear Terror Impending absence Fireflies dropping Lose their light Everything's dim Keep saying it was only a dream In Distress Death of depression One day How to move on Someone is always first Nobody tells you that part Best left alone Pray it never comes true There are no happy endings
5.
Broken down Lived in and torn Scolded The shame Such a weight Just shut your mouth Take it all in Time to feel everything It doesn't go back to normal Never gets better Just wearing down Learn to live with this

about

Recorded November-December 2023. I said I wad done for the year after Grey fades to white, but I still had some nagging ideas left over. I wrote the all the music for the first four tracks in one session as a suite over acourse of a week, then spent another week on lyrics and screaming and shit... then I spent way more time mixing this shit than I ever want to again. The last song, and whatever comes next was a track written during grey fades to white sessions that I had taking up space on my hard drive and decided to finish that one up. I'm pretty sure I did the same thing on GFTW with the last song, Doesn't belong here.... I think i wrote that one during Nothing makes sense...

credits

released December 21, 2023

All songs written, performed and produced by j sebastiano

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in one place Albany, New York

All the sounds, noises and chaos in one place.

In one place is j sebastiano.

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